It's the Chance You Take
by AngieMarie1111
Summary: Ezra's point of view of the first season.  Chapter 3 is up, completing the "Pilot" episode.
1. Chapter 1

He swung open the door, took a step inside and greeted the empty bar with a smile. Hollis, the local college and his alma mater, was between semesters now; and since the crowd usually consisted of college students, he knew he'd find his local hang out quiet and secluded.

He walked up to the bar, took a seat, and ordered the drink his nerves had requested. The bartender sat a high ball of Jack in front of him and he took a much needed pull. The tension in his shoulders melted away as the warmth of the whiskey spread throughout his body. He set down the glass, his fingers remained, and he let out a sigh of relief. Even if for the moment, he did feel somewhat relaxed. The jittering nerves seemed to stop for a moment to absorb the alcohol.

He looked down at his choice novel. He had meant to grab an easy read, but felt he needed to prove his intelligence and that he could handle his upcoming new job, also the root of his nerves, with confidence. The result had him staring at the pages of _A_ _Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man _by James Joyce. He shut the book, knowing he wasn't ready for that read just yet. Maybe after another drink, then he'd be ready.

He swallowed the rest of the whiskey and ordered a second. He took it with him as he got up from is seat and headed to the juke box, thinking a few good songs would quiet the racing thoughts in his head. He picked out a few of his favorites; he knew their numbers from repeated use, and headed back to his seat at the bar.

Once back seated, and with Jack number three now in front of him, he opened his choice novel to the marked page and attempted to focus on the first sentence. His concentration was interrupted when the door flew open and let in a blinding ray of sun. He looked toward the brightness and could only make out a silhouette of the girl walking through it. His eyes had become adjusted to the dark bar so that he wasn't able to make out any of her features until she had taken her seat at the bar just one away from him.

She ordered a beer and a burger, then just stared out aimlessly, appearing lost in her thoughts. He tried to focus on his book, but found himself in awe of this girl. She was classic beauty with a twist to her own. Far from the main stream look, she didn't follow the normal tends of fashion, yet somehow was able to maintain a girl next door face. He also sensed a bit of solitary in this girl, a very intriguing trait in his opinion.

She was amazing. Her every feature perfect in his opinion. He wasn't sure how to react, her individualism had him in such awe that he fumbled with: to speak or not to speak? Look or look away?

He could attribute it to the alcohol or the self pep talks from earlier that day, but whatever the reason, with unexplained courage, he asked, "You alright down there?"

He smiled at himself; it felt good to take this lead.

She looked over towards him and quickly responded, "I'm a bit jetlagged, I just got back from Europe."

"Where in Europe?" He asked, as he wondered if they'd traveled or studied abroad at some of the same places.

"Iceland." She replied while her fingers nervously drummed the bar top.

"I spent some time in Reykjavik, before I went to Amsterdam." He paused, and then shut his book, "It's a great city." He wanted to show her their connection in hopes of calming her nerves. It worked, he realized, as she readjusted herself and turned to face him directly. Both seem to have almost forgotten what their worries were just the few minutes past.

"So, do you go to Hollis?" She asked, her courage growing apparent. And he thought her interest in him was too.

"Just graduated, I'm going to start my first teaching job." His confidence was instantly boosted with this reply.

"Yeah, I think I'd like to teach," she said, as she opened up even more to him. The smile she wore told him she too noticed how much they shared in common.

A new song started, one he had selected. She stopped to listen to the song. He stared for a moment, amazed by her beauty.

"Gosh, I love this song," she finally spoke.

"B26," He said in almost a whisper, and watched in awe as she took in another commonality. They shared a knowing look, one that confirmed that neither had ever felt a connection like this to anyone before.

Not wanting to end this conversation, and afraid to jinx the perfection of it all, he asked, "what's your major?" His stomach fluttered with nerves, not like the nerves from before, but from excitement, interest and intrigue. He wanted more of her.

"Uh, well…I'm leaning towards English." She stammered a bit.

"That's what I 'm teaching". He said, not surprised, and already convinced this was the girl that was meant for him.

She chuckled, "and I write too. But so far it's only personal, just for me." She said.

"I'm impressed." He said, and he was.

"Why?" She asked.

"Well, I tried writing," he said as he moved down a seat, closing in the space between them. "I didn't get very far. You're lucky, if you're writing for yourself, it's pure passion." He paused for a moment, and took in her response to him moving closer, "Maybe you'd let me read some of yours?"

He eyes were intense; he took her in completely, and impressed himself with his newfound bravery.

"Yeah, you really want to?" she answered shyly, but he saw the interest in her eyes.

"Yeah, you're smart. You've traveled. Great taste in music." He paused for a second, breathed in some courage, and decided to go for it. "I'd like to know more about you," it came out almost like a question. He felt his heart beat speed up; his forwardness no longer surprised him, his nervousness as he anticipated her response did.

"Yeah, I'd like to know more about you too." She replied.

Each held on to this last stare with intense fire building between them. It was him that broke the silence, but not the stare, when he extended his hand, palm up. "Ezra," he introduced himself.

She didn't look away, just placed her hand on his and softly said, "Aria."

He gripped her hand, and didn't let go. His thoughts confirmed he'd never felt this connected to someone. Each direction forward in their conversation, in their movements, proved to him their rightness for each other.

Jolted out of this bubble they had created around themselves, they both are pulled away when the bartender sat her burger down in front of her. She retreated her hand and faced forward again in her chair.

He cursed the bartender in his head for interrupting this magical moment they were sharing. He could tell by the way she looked at her plate that she wasn't thrilled about its arrival either.

She glanced back at him, and then excused herself to the restroom.

He silently shook his head and she smiled coyly. She didn't look away as she got down from the bar stool, and held his look intently as she headed around the bar. She gave him one last longing look as she disappeared around the corner.

He was convinced she had invited him to follow her. Was it the alcohol? He wasn't drunk, only three Jacks. He tossed around the idea for a second, then got up from his own seat and took the same corner she just had.

He stood at the door to restroom, and before he could talk himself out of it, he knocked.

The door opened quickly and she faced him with an expected look on her face that confirmed his suspicions. She did want him to follow her. With one fluid motion, he had his hands around her tiny waist, the door slammed shut behind them with his foot and her hoisted in midair. They were lost in a passionate kiss before he even had her sat on the counter.

His hands covered every inch of her as they made their way from the insides of her knees, to the small of her back, to her face and back down again. His fingers grazed over skin, hair and clothing, each touch sent electric pulses up his arms. He felt her soft caress on his face, neck and shoulders. Her lips adhered to his as their tongues took in each others taste.

Barely stopping for air to gaze again at each other, or laugh at how easy this came to them both, they were lost back in that bubble of just the two of them.

He couldn't help but think of the connection he felt for this girl. How everything seemed to fit just right. The fire between them was like nothing he'd experienced. He found himself so lost in these thoughts; his earlier troubles distant. It was her and his draw to her that occupied his mind now. How he had never been a believer in these types of connections, but she had proved him wrong. How perfect this felt, right here, right now.

When they finally broke for air, it was her that first spoke. "I better get your phone number."

He chuckled, as much as he felt like he really knew this girl, he realized there was a lot left to learn. Then he leaned in and met her lips with his again.


	2. Chapter 2

Ezra bounced out of bed ready to tackle this day, his first day on the job. He'd slept like a baby. Thoughts of Aria filled his dreams. He sang in the car on the drive to work. Though it wasn't to the song blaring on the radio, it was the song from the bar, the one she liked. B26. _Happiness_. He sure felt happy, he thought, a smile plastered to his face.

He pulled into the school parking lot, found the first spot and took it. He was excited to get this school day started. Students poured out from every direction, a much different look from week prior, when teachers were the only ones at school prepping for the start of this new year.

He headed inside, made a quick stop by the lounge and said a few formalities to the other teachers making their way to their first class. He grabbed his coffee mug and took off in the direction of the English hall. He made a last minute trip by the water fountain to fill up his mug; he was too energized for coffee. He felt nostalgic, the sound of students catching up with one another, lockers being slammed shut, brought back found memories for him. This time, I'm in charge, he thought with a chuckle as he rounded the corner to his classroom. He truly felt on top of the world.

Once he reached the door to his classroom, and noticed that the class was filled, he stopped and took in a deep breath. He was ready, no nerves, just excitement. He owed that to Aria, she'd given him something else to focus on other than the nerves of a new job. He took in another breath, told himself to put his thoughts of Aria to back of his head for now and concentrate on the task at hand.

He walked over to his desk, sat down his mug of water and turned to face the large, clean chalk board. He grabbed the nearest chalk and proceeded to write his name on the board. With sloppy writing, he'd managed _Mr. Fitz_ with an underline before he turned to face his first period class of students.

He'd practiced his speech, rather introduction, a few times, but nothing could have prepared him for how it would play out this day, this class.

He picked his mug up from the edge of his desk, and with a smile stretched across his face, he scanned the room to take in his students before he announced his descend upon on their learning environment. Such young faces, he observed, even though it'd been only a few short years since he was in their seats.

He stopped short on one face, one in particular, which sent his mind in every direction possible. It was her, the girl from the bar, the girl that had occupied his mind since they'd met, the girl he'd just unsuccessfully tried to put in the back of his mind, it was Aria. She was his student, she was in high school. She was under age. These thoughts raced through his mind, as the words, "Holy Crap," slipped across his lips before he could stop it. She'd lied to him. She wasn't a college student, she was his student, a high school student. He continued to repeat these things in his mind over and over again. Fear, anxiety, panic; all of these emotions replaced the ones of elated happiness that once filled his head.

The rest of students, although the only face he currently saw was hers, looked around and ultimately focused on Aria, as the two of them held a stare, much different from the ones they shared on their first encounter.

Her phone suddenly rang and disrupted their stare as she reached to mute it. A few giggles and mumbles were heard in the class. She silenced her phone and let out a feeble, "Sorry." Only the two of them knew that the apology was two fold.

He cleared his throat and continued with his introduction to the class, "I'm Mr. Fitz, your new English teacher."

* * *

Despite the mishap in period one, when he realized he'd unknowingly made out with one of his students, he survived his first day.

Still, he couldn't shake the images of Aria the student from his head. He knew the second he saw her this morning that they would never be able to tell anyone what had happened, and that they would never be able to continue to see each other. He knew that this was the right thing to do, that he had no other options, however difficult that proved to be.

He was left with no choice, no choice but to throw himself into his work. She's your student he continued to tell himself.

He sat at his desk and was going over the next days' lesson, when he noticed someone at his classroom door window. He looked up to see her, and those feelings he'd been ignoring all day came rushing back, he decided he must allow his head to remain in charge of this conversation.

She opened the door and entered his room; he could tell that she was apprehensive about approaching him. He wasn't sure what she planned to say, so he took the liberty himself, "You told me you went to Hollis."

"No, I said I was thinking about majoring in English," she said innocently as she stepped closer to his desk, "and that's true." Her voice immediately told him she didn't care about the repercussions, that she wanted them together.

He knew he would have to be the strong one, he focused on doing the right thing, "Look, I think you're amazing, Aria." As soon as the words fell out of his mouth, he knew it was the truth and that standing firm would be difficult. "When I first meet you, I thought, who is this girl?" He continued, this statement just as true as the last, and these thoughts made it hard for him to follow through with his rejection of her.

He looked away, and lost her eye contact, it was the only way he could stay true to the right solution. The solution of it just can't happen.

A smile spread across her face, "I'm still that girl," she said as she placed her hand on his, "Ok, nothing's changed." Her touch made those electric pulses he'd not yet had a chance to forget shoot up his arm, just like before.

He remained firm, "Yes, yes it has, I'm your teacher."

"I know it's not just me, you, you feel like this is right for us too." This time she reached out to him verbally, but he did not cave.

She was right, he did feel it too, but he had to remain the sensible one. "But it's not right, we just cant." He pulled his hand out from under hers and looked away from her stare one last time. It was the only way he would keep true to his decision. He got up from his chair and walked out the door, leaving her alone in his classroom.


	3. Chapter 3

Ezra had decided to go to the funeral, despite the fact that he didn't know the girl who died. Her body had just recently been found, but the story was that she disappeared towards the end of last summer. He felt like he owed it to the town and his students to be there.

He had heard she was a popular girl, so he expected a lot of students to be at the funeral, what he did not expect was the entire school to be there. When the principal had announced that school would not be in session on Friday, so that all who wanted to attend could do so, he figured some students would take the opportunity to enjoy a free day. But the place was crawling with teachers, parents and students.

Although he hadn't admitted it to himself just yet, he also hoped that he'd see Aria again out of class. It had been a long week. He'd tried to refrain from any eye contact with Aria; so much that he didn't even look in the direction of her during class. He just didn't trust himself. He'd stayed out of the hallways to lessen the chance of running into her there. More than once, he knew her hand was raised and he would purposely call on someone else. He wasn't trying to be mean or hateful, he just didn't know how else to keep his feelings for her at bay.

But nothing was working, as soon as class was over, he would stare at her empty chair and imagine her there. In his eyes, she was still the girl he'd met at the bar, not the girl in his class, not his student. And this made it difficult for him to remain true to his decision to end it, his decision to not act out his feelings for her.

He scanned the room where people were filing in and being seated, but didn't see her. He had no way of knowing if she would even be there. He was just going on the hope that he'd see her and have a chance to talk to her.

He turned and started down a quiet hallway, there was a set of stairs at the end that might give him a better view of outside, people still poured in through the front door and were lined up around the building.

He'd taken the first step up the stairs when he saw her. He knew it was her immediately. She was gazing out the window, lost in her thoughts, much like she was the day her meet her. Only today, he didn't find himself curious or intrigued about her, today he longed to reach out to her, to comfort her. He took the rest of the steps up to the landing where she stood, she didn't notice him or turn around.

He hadn't thought about what to say, he just knew that he wanted a chance to see and speak to her outside of class, outside of school. So the first thing that came out of his mouth was, "Was she a friend of yours?"

She turned to look at him, the pain clearly written on her face. "You care?" She asked with a hint of sarcasm and look of disbelief in her eyes.

How did she manage to get him right where he was already feeling it? So he answered as honest as he could. "I don't know what I feel worse about...Having to stay away from you or being a jerk about it." 

He wasn't sure she believed him, but at least she did enough to answer his question, he thought as she replied. "Yeah, she was one of my best friends." 

"I'm sorry." The words fell out his mouth.

And before he could comprehend what exactly he was apologizing for, she called him out in her response. "For Alison or for being a jerk?"

"Both." He'd waited for a chance to speak to her outside of school, yet when the opportunity arose, he couldn't get the words out, couldn't get out what he wanted to say, what he wanted to tell her. He was like a school boy with a crush that had longed to talk to the girl of his dreams and when given the opportunity, he remained frozen.

"Thank you." She replied with sincerity. They shared a brief moment of looking into each others eyes. He tried to think of what to say or how to say it. He came up empty, he thought of nothing that would justify his recent actions towards her.

Before he could think of something she spoke, "I'd never do anything to get you in trouble."

He clenched his jaw, in attempt to fight off his urge to physically console her. His mind searched for the words to explain to her, to let her know his true feelings. Suddenly, she reached up to him and her lips brushed his cheek for just a moment. She let her face linger next to his a bit longer before finishing with, "Goodbye Ezra."

She turned to walk down the flight of stairs. He stood there statuesque for a moment, their first encounter flashed through his mind and he realized this was it, this was his moment. He wouldn't have another chance to show her he cared. Since he failed at telling her, at least he felt that he had, he must let her know that he hasn't been proud of how he's acted, that he would rather be open about his feelings for her, that he was glad he met her before that first day of school. Otherwise, he might not ever have felt this way for someone.

Before he lost his nerve, before he lost his chance, he turned and quickly grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back to him. One arm went around her back and pulled her to him for a kiss, the other went to her face to hold her close. The kiss confirmed his feelings, the ones he could not deny. No matter how frowned upon their situation was, he felt so much with her. He was grateful he had decided to let her know, and that she responded to him in the kiss.

For a moment they were lost, he forgot where they were, and that someone could happen upon them at anytime. She pulled away, but not before taking her hand to brush his hair from his face.

He stared at her, not sure how to read her reaction to the kiss. Did she return the feelings he felt? Or was this just a goodbye for her?

He still wore a questioning look when she turned and retreated down the flight of stairs, leaving him confused and unsure of her feelings, but certain of his own.


End file.
